When A Gag Goes Too Far
by Jessi a.k.a. Crash
Summary: Tab is sick and tired of falling into open man-holes. He and others decide to do something so evil, there's only one hope for anyone.
1. Default Chapter

When A Gag Goes Too Far  
Prologue: Tab's Idea  
  
A/N: Hi again! I don't own JGR. Yeah, I'm starting with a prologue. The fic's still kinda up in the air right now, but I'll crank out a chapter ASAP. Heh, this is gonna be fun! ^_^ For me at least... Rated PG for stuff in later chapters, just to be safe.  
  
FanFiction.net was usually a peaceful corner of the internet. However on this particular day all was not well. Fan fiction characters were on the brink of rebelling against authors. However, one character was a bit more rebellious than the rest. This would be Tab of Jet Grind Radio, who was pacing the GG's lonely garage that was filled with music. Tab was covered in sewer sludge and talking to himself.  
"Man-holes, man-holes, and more man-holes! I'm so sick of this! This has to stop!" Tab yelled. "I wish I could shut down that miserable website! Wait a minute! I have an idea!"  
It could not have been a worse time for Tab to have his first idea ever. Most fan fiction characters were bent on freeing themselves from the grips of authors, and would do anything to do it, even if it meant destroying the internet.   
  
The authors, on the other hand, could not have been happier. They had friends from all over the world with similar interests and they all shared at least one thing: the love of writing. Sometimes a flamer did come along, but they were ignored by most. This seemed to be a utopian envionment; until the day the fan fiction characters finally rebelled.   
Chaos on th internet was the only way to describe it. For some, the FanFiction.net website was completely incoherent with scrambled chapters. For others, graffiti was displayed. The remaining just recieved blank pages. A few, however, were pulled into the middle of a war. From their homes into the internet in the blink of an eye.   
These few were chosen by an unkown higher power to defend their and other's rights to be creative and to let their voices be heard.   
The battle has begun. Authors will be thrown into the worlds they created next time in "The Calvary And FanFiction.net's Only Hope!"! 


	2. The Calvary And FanFictionnet's Only Hop...

When A Gag Goes Too Far  
Chapter 2: The Calvary And Fanfiction.net's Only Hope!  
  
A/N: Yeah, I don't own JGR, Outlaw Star, any of the Harry Potter characters, and zip of Dragonball Z. Good grief, I must be going insane if I'm writing something like this...please r+r! If you want to be in this, just tell me! All I need to know is if you're a boy or a girl. The more authors, the merrier! Which reminds me, NoiseTank13, I'm assuming you're a boy (and weren't kidding in your review of the prologue), but if I'm wrong, tell me. I'll correct it. And I'll do this in advance: *gets on knees* Ok, I usually don't do this but...*deep breath* I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!!!! *stands up* Geez, my pride just flew out the window...  
  
"Ok! The first meeting of!...HELLO?!" Tab was trying to gain the attention of the small crowd of fan fiction characters that had somehow all piled into the GG's gargage. Gene Starwind, Jim Hawking, Suzuka, Aisha, Melphina, and the MacDougall Brothers, Ron and Harry, were at the back, not really paying attention and chatting amongst themselves. Vegeta was hovering above the crowd near a wall. Beat, Gum, and Onishima, who was a temporary ally, stood a few feet from Tab. Hermoine Granger, who was in the front row, stood to face the crowd, and made a few green sparks fly out of her wand.  
"Excuse me! Tab would like our attention!" she said obivously disappointed that she was surrounded by morons.  
"Uh...thanks Hermoine..." Tab muttered as she sat down.  
"Your welcome."  
"Now that I have your attention, the first meeting of the Anti Fan Fiction Organization-type-thing has come to order. I think you should know that those authors will be arriving soon!" Tab shouted.  
"So? We find'em and take'em down. No big deal!" a bored Gene Starwind muttered from the back.  
"Shut-up, Gene!" Tab screamed back. "It's not that simple! They have...POWERS!"  
Thunder struck and a long, eerie silence filled the garage. This continued until Harry MacDougall broke the silence with a question that plagued all of the garage's occupants.  
"What kind of powers could those idiots have?"   
"They can make things happen!" Tab explained. "One of them made me fall into open man-holes repeatedly."  
"So that's why it stinks in here!" Vegeta grumbled.  
"Nice joke, Vegeta. I have a plan!" Tab shouted.  
"Oh, boy. I hope his are better than Speed's!" Beat commented, rubbing his forehead, which was still bandaged from running into a streetpost.   
"Speaking of her, where are Speed, Crazy, and Omega?" Gum asked Beat, who shrugged in response.  
  
Meanwhile, in the Benten-cho mall, Speed, Crazy, and Omega, who were in disguise, were shopping.  
"Whose side are we taking again?" Crazy asked looking at a tank top.  
"No one's. We're stayin' out of this." Speed replied.  
"Hey! Check this shirt!" Omega shouted from the other end of the store.  
  
Back in the garage, Tab was losing control of the mob.  
"Who cares where Speed, Crazy, and Omega are?! If they're not here, screw them!" Tab shouted at Gum.  
"So, what's your bright idea?" Jim Hawking shouted from the back.  
"We gang up on them! Who in their right mind would join their side anyway?" Tab replied.  
"Do you want it alphabetically?" Aisha asked sarastically.  
"Who are they?!" Onishima yelled impatiently.  
"Heh, I'm not exactly sure..." Tab admitted. "But they'll be dropping out of the sky any minute!"  
  
"Um, alright, guys...I guess we can start..." Harry Potter announced. "The first meeting of the Pro Fan Fiction Society is in order."   
Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Goku, and Fred Luo were sitting next to the lake on the Hogwarts grounds. Ecco the dolphin was floating in the water trying to ignore the giant squid.  
"This is it?" Fred Luo wondered. "How are going to beat the bad guys with four people and a dolphin?!"  
"What about those authors?" Goku reminded him.  
"For all we know, there could be only one!" Fred shouted. "Wait, I can't fight! Why am I here!"  
"Hey, you two! Stop fighting!" Ron interrupted. Ecco squeaked in agreement.  
"Fred, you're here because you can supply us with top-of-the-line weaponry." Harry grumbled. "That's how we're going to beat those bad guys."  
"Whatever we do..." Ron Weasley wondered. "We should do it fast. The authors will be arriving soon."   
  
Tab and Ron Weasley had no idea of how right they were. At that moment, balls of white light streamed down from the sky, four to be exact. One landed in a desert region; another in a dark forest. Ball number three landed in a dense city. Number four landed in the same dark forest as the second ball.   
  
In the desert region, Tallulah materialized on the sand.  
"Where am I?"  
She shook her head and started walking eastward. Gunshots rang out and she stopped in her tracks.  
"Eek..."  
  
In the dense city, NoiseTank13 stood in wonder of what just happened.  
"Heh, this looks like Tokyo-to." he muttered.  
NoiseTank13's idea was confirmed when a Love Shocker sneaked up behind him and tried to tag his back.  
"Yo! Stay back!"  
The Love Shocker skated away cursing.  
"Man...that didn't take long."  
  
In the dark forest, Thug Angel landed near a rock, right on her behind.  
"Owie... This looks familiar. But I can't put my finger on it..."  
An owl was heard.  
"Oh, well. It'll come to me. I wonder where my demented chickens landed..."  
  
In another region of the dark, spooky forest, Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) landed on the ground; after falling through a few tree limbs first of course.  
"Where in living heaven and Hades am I?" she screamed.  
"Josh?!" a voice rang out.  
"Nya...I'm lost..." she mumbles.   
  
Back in the garage, Tab was surprisingly pulling the mob together.  
"Are we going to take this crud anymore?" Tab screams.  
"No!" everyone else bellows back.  
"Are we going to be free?"  
"Yes!"  
"Are we going to rip those idiot authors to shreds?!" the now excited Tab screamed in delight.  
"Yes!" the mob confidently yelled.  
A loud beeping was heard; it was Jim's cell phone.  
"Hello?...Hey, Gilium...You did?!...Great!" Jim put his phone back in his pocket and shouted to Tab.   
"Gilium found the authors!"  
"Phat! Everyone, get into groups and find them! Ron, Harry, you're a team! Beat, Gum, Onishima, get to it! Gene, Jim, Melphina, go get them! Aisha, Suzuka, with me! They're going down!" Tab shouted while pumping his arm. The mob cheerred like a stadium full of football fans and ran out of the garage leaving a hopelss mess behind.  
"And when you find them, show no mercy!" Tab added out on the street.  
  
  
"Hey, Tab here! The authors finally got here! But they don't know what's going on! Heh, they don't know how hard it is to not get lost in FanFiction.net! The massacre begins next time in "Navigating The Labyrinth Of Cyberspace!"!"  
"What are we waiting for?!" Aisha screamed at Tab. "Let's go!" 


	3. Navigating The Labyrinth Of Cyberspace!

When A Gag Goes Too Far  
Chapter 2: Navigating The Labyrinth Of Cyberspace!  
  
A/N: I own nothing except myself. Oh and so there won't be any confusion (thanks to Tallulah and Disk for pointing this out to me) there are two Harrys and Rons in this. Harry MacDougall and Ron MacDougall, who are the MacDougall Brothers and are opposing the authors, and Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, who are trying to help the authors. This ought to make for great fun in later chapters! Ok I guess that takes care of that. I also gave a few of Thug Angel's demented chickens names; I hope you don't mind Thug Angel.  
  
Tallulah was wandering around the desert aimlessly and trying to avoid whoever was shooting the gun.  
"Geez, all that noise is hurting my ears..." she grumbled.  
Suddenly, Tallulah saw a red dot on the horizon. She squinted at it as zoomed closer to her.  
"A red convertible?" she murmured.  
Soon, the car had sped up to her and suddenly stopped. The MacDougall Brothers had found Tallulah.  
"Hey, are you Tallulah?" Ron asked her.  
"Yes. Why?"  
Harry whipped out a pistol.  
"No reason." he replied as he pulled the trigger.  
Tallulah, being the alert person she is, sidestepped the shot and was quite surprised when bullets flew from behind her toward the MacDougalls. A bullet struck Ron's arm.  
"Vash!" Ron shouted cradling his wounded arm. "Stay out if this you peace-loving freak!"  
"Vash?" Tallulah wondered.  
A blonde haired man in a red trenchcoat stepped forward.  
"You're not welcome here, MacDougalls." he said coldly. "Trigun territory is off limits to space trash."  
"What about authors?" Ron spat at Vash.  
"This is neutral ground. Take your fight somewhere else." Vash sneered. "Besides, she didn't open fire and is completely unarmed."  
"Make us leave." Harry snapped.  
"Run." Vash ordered Tallulah. "Get out of here! All heck is about to break lose!"  
"But..." the authoress stammered. "I don't get it..."  
"Run! And watch your step!" Vash screamed at her.  
Tallulah turned tail and ran as Vash opened fire on the MacDougalls and vice versa.  
"MacDougall Brothers...haven't I heard that from somwhere?" she wondered aloud as she ran through the desert at a surprising speed.   
"To borrow a quote "I ain't in Kansas anymore"." Tallulah mumbled to herself. "I hope Vash is ok..."  
  
Meanwhile in the dark and spooky forest, Thug Angel was trying to find her demented chickens, not to mention her way out of the forest.  
"Hey! Ernie! Cluck-cluck?! Where are all of you?!" she screamed as she walked past a huge oak tree.  
"Hello?! Is anyone there?!" an unknown voice answered.  
Thug Angel stopped in her tracks by the oak tree.  
"Who are you?!" Thug Angel shouted back.  
"I'm not sure anymore, but I think I'm still Jessi (a.k.a. Crash)!"  
"Jessi? The author?" Thug Angel wondered.  
"That's me! Who are you?"  
"Thug Angel."  
"Hey! Long time, no e-mail!" Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) yelled back happily.  
"Jessi-chan, where are you?"  
"By a really big tree. How about you?"  
"I'm by a really big tree too!" Thug Angel called back happily.  
"Hiya Thug!" Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) shouted as she ran to Thug Angel's side of the tree effectively scaring Thug Angel out of her skull.  
"Aiee! Don't do that!" Thug Angel screamed at her.  
"Sorry, I'm just glad I have company. All I had to listen to a while ago was someone yelling "Josh" over and over!" Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) said trying to calm Thug Angel down.  
"Hm...this forest is familiar... Jessi-chan, I think we're in the Blair With Project!" Thug Angel said, looking around.  
"Yes!" an unkown voice cried from seemingly nowhere. "You are in FanFiction.net! So suffer!"  
"I never saw The Blair Witch Project..." Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) grumbled while anime tears rolled down her face.  
"Let's go. This forest is freaking me out." Thug Angel sighed. "Ugh, I've been wandering aroud this wooden maze for hours..."  
  
In the Tokyo-to-look-a-like, NoiseTank13 had jumped, grinded, and climbed his way to the top of one of the Rokkaku Towers.  
"Geez, what a world I've been transported to..." he mumbled as looked out onto the scenery.  
NoiseTank13 was frozen to the spot. He saw cities, deserts, what seemed to be patches of outerspace, forests, and countrysides.  
"This world is a maze... I wonder what's in the center... What's that?!"  
Another ball of light fell from the sky, and landed in a countryside.  
"Ok, that was a little weird... Now where do I go from here?"  
"To jail, punk!" a familiar voice screamed.  
NoiseTank13 turned aound. Onishima, Beat, and Gum were jumping from a helicopter to the top of the tower.  
"Dang...." he mumbled as the three very angry people advanced toward him.  
NoiseTank13 being the intelligent rudie he is, tried to escape, but another helicopter cut off his route, forcing him to stay on the roof.   
Onishima pulled out his gun.  
"Eat lead, punk!" the police captain screamed as he pulled the trigger.  
"Aw crud! This is not my day!" the slightly scared rudie grumbled as several bullets hurtled towards him, not to mention right past him.  
"Onishima, you missed! He's ten feet in front of you!"  
"Shut it, Beat! We'll just handle this the good ol' fashion way. Fist fight!" Onishima chuckled as he cracked his knuckles.  
NoiseTank13 gulped and ran for his life, past the helicopter and down the tower and onto the street with his pursuers hot on his tail .  
  
Disk the GG appeared near Hagrid's cabin on the Hogwarts grounds. He stood up and brushed himself off.  
"Whoa, what a ride." he mumbled.  
"Hey! Who are you?!" a high yet commanding voice shouted.   
Disk whirled around to face a shadowy figure who was holding a gun-like object to his forehead.  
"Disk!"  
"What are you doing here?"  
"I don't know!"  
"Are you an author?"  
"Yeah..."  
"Well in that case... Am I ever glad to see you!"  
  
"Yo, Disk here! I land in the middle of nowhere and now I have a gun against my head! And this guy is happy to see me?! I'd hate to see how he treats unwanted guests! What's going on here?! Destinies collide next time in "The Fifth Author And Potter Join The Fray!"!"  
"Harry, did you hear something?" Ron Weasely asked his friend.  
"Yeah." 


	4. The Fifth Author And Potter Join The Fra...

When A Gag Goes Too Far  
Chapter 3: The Fifth Author And Potter Join The Fray!  
  
A/N: I own absolutely nothing, save myself. Is it just me, or are there alot of guns in this fic? Thanks for all the suggestions! What took me so long? Well, writer's block, standardized tests, video game, etc. Beat is a little out of charatcer around the end.  
  
"Come again?" Disk muttered stupidly as the gun dropped to the ground.  
Fred Luo was now crying his eyes out because he was so happy. Disk sweatdropped.  
"You're an author! You finally got here!" Fred Luo screamed joyously.  
"Fred?! What's up?" Harry Potter asked the black-haired-millionaire as he walked up to him.  
"Yeah, Ecco was showing us some of his tricks!" Ron Weasley complained as he followed his friend.  
"This is an author! Disk!"  
"Who has no idea what is going on." Disk added.  
"Well, you see..." Harry began. "Tab got sick of falling into open man-holes so he decided to do something about it. Now he's trying to destroy FF.net."  
"Oh, that was Jessi. Her idea started a war, eh? So what now?"  
"We're not sure, Disk." Ron admitted. "Try to see if there are more authors I guess."  
"Good idea!" Harry concurred. "I'll get my Firebolt. Disk, come with me."  
"Why?"  
"We're going for a ride."  
"Cool!"  
  
Tallulah had been running for a rather long time before she dared to stop. She fell to her knees in exhaustion.  
"Of all the places, a gunslinger inhabited desert! Why me?" she muttered. "Huh? What's that?"  
Tallulah forced herself onto her feet and dragged herself over to a stretch of empty, white space.  
"There's something you don't see everyday... I wonder what it is... Hey! A city!"  
Indeed, there was a city. A city that was only a quarter of a mile away.  
"A city means water! But how am I going to get there?"  
Suddenly, there was a gust of wind and Tallulah fell face first into the white ground.  
"Well, I guess that answers my question..."  
Tallulah once again picked herself up and started walking. After hearing a few more gunshots, she began to run again.  
"I really hope Vash is ok!"  
  
"Do you have any idea where we're going, Jessi-chan?"  
"No, Thug Angel."   
"What's going to happen to my demented chickens?"  
"I don't know."  
"Jessi-chan?"  
"What is it?"  
"Am I annoying you?"  
"Yes."  
Thug Angel and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) were still wandering around the forest they had landed in.   
"Thug, have you seen the Blair Witch Project?" Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) asked the author that was irritating her.  
"Yes."  
"What happened?"  
"I'm not telling!"  
"Why not?!"  
"I don't want to ruin it for you!" Thug Angel yelled.   
"This is a life or death situation!" Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) screamed back.  
"You got that right!" Aisha shouted as jumped out from behind some foliage.  
"What do we do now, Jessi-chan?"  
"The idea of running like heck sounds good, Thug."  
Thug Angel and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) ran through the forest desperately trying to secape the enraged cat-like being that was hot on their heels.  
"Where's an open man-hole when you need one?" Thug Angel shouted.  
"Yeah." Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) chuckled as a mental image of Aisha falling into an open man-hole popped into her head.  
"What the?! Aaaaahhhhhhh!"  
Aisha fell into an open man-hole. Thug Angel and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) stopped running and laughed their butts off.  
"That is classic!" Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) shouted.  
"Are you obessed with open man-holes or something?" Thug Angel sighed.  
"Well, there is something about seeing somebody you don't like fall into a giant pipe filled with sludge that possibly is inhabited by aligators."  
"Jessi-chan?"  
"What now, Thug?"  
"Do you get the feeling that we're...being watched?"  
"Yes."  
"What should we do?"  
"Keep running!"  
And so, Thug Angel and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) ran through the forest frantically trying to escape what was watching them.  
"Jessi-chan..." Thug Angel stuttered.  
"What now?"  
"How did that thing fall into an open man-hole in the middle of a forest?"  
"I don't know. I just pictured it in my mind and it happened."  
"Something's up, Jessi-chan."  
"Did you just figure that out, Thug?"  
Thug Angel whacked Jessi (a.k.a. Crash)'s head as they ran.   
  
NoiseTank13 had been chased around Tokyo-to a few times before finally having to resort to climbing one of the Rokkaku Towers, returning to where the chase had begun.  
"What are you going to do now, author?" Gum sneered at NoiseTank13.  
"Um, this: help! Somebody help me!" NoiseTank13 screamed.  
NoiseTank13, Gum, Beat, and Onishima were standing on the top of one of the Rokkaku Towers in Tokyo-to, panting and sweating. Onishima was, for some reason, getting a huge migraine.  
"Just shut-up!" Onishima bellowed as he dove toward NoiseTank13, ready to punch the living daylights out of him.  
"I was wondering when we were going to beat him." Beat said exasperatedly as he followed Onishima's lead.  
However, NoiseTank13 sidestepped both Beat and Onishima, sending them careening into the pavement. Despite the fall, both were alive and only suffered bad bruises and annihilated pride.  
"There went your boyfriend." NoiseTank13 laughed.  
"Just shut-up!" Gum screamed as she yanked off one of her skates and threw it at the author's head.  
"Yeah." NoiseTank13 sighed as the skate sailed a few feet past his head and towards the street.  
"Ow!" Beat shouted when the skate fell on his head.  
"Beat! Oh, sweetie, are you ok?" Gum shouted as she ran to edge of the roof and peeked over it.  
NoiseTank13 seized the oppritunity and kicked Gum's rear so she sailed through the air "gracefully" and landed on Beat, who screamed "Woman, you need to go on a diet!". Gum began to cry.  
"Yeah, happy couple my foot." the only occupant of the roof muttered dryly.  
"Hey, Key!" an unkown voice shouted from behind NoiseTank13.  
The author turned around and saw a Noise Tank.  
"I've been looking for you everywhere!"  
"Um, I'm not..." NoiseTank13 stuttered.  
"Save it for Rave, Key. Our leader is so ticked at you!"   
The unkown Noise Tank grabbed NoiseTank13 and hauled him down the fire escape toward Benten-cho, to face the Noise Tanks.  
  
  
"Yo, NoiseTank13 here! I finally got the peanut gallery off of my back, then bam! This Noise Tank shows up and hauls me off to see Rave, thinking I'm Key, whoever that is. Complications arise, next time in "Of Hackers, Backers, And Cities!"!"  
"Move it, Key!" the unkown Noise Tank shouted. 


	5. Of Hackers, Backers, and Cities!

When A Gag Goes Too Far  
Chapter 4: Of Hackers, Backers, and Cities!  
  
A/N: If you think I own anyone but myself, then you don't know jack! (I don't own that catch phrase) NoiseTank13 owns Shackler. Quick quiz: Give me one adjective that perfectly describes Fred Luo. (I'm pretty sure that I know what Disk'll say.) You don't get a prize...but it exercises the mind. MWHAHAHAHAHA!!! The man-hole gags are running rampant!!! o_~ Hee hee! I'm so hyper!!!!!!!!!  
  
"Key, where have you been?!"  
"Uh..."  
"What were you thinking?!"  
"I'm not..."  
"Well?!"  
"Um..."  
"Answer me!"  
NoiseTank13 had arrived at the Noise Tank hideout in Benten-cho. It was a small room with two fairly up to date computers and some cots in the corner. In other words: not much. A small group had gathered around Rave and NoiseTank13. Rave, the leader of the Noise Tanks, had, along with all the other Noise Tanks, mistaken our favorite author-whose-name-ends-with-13 for Key.  
"Key, tell me!"  
"Um... Help! I've been mistaken for a video game character, but I'm really an author! Somebody help me!" NoiseTank13 screamed.  
"So you're one of them! What have you done to Key?!" Rave shouted, throwing the author against the nearest wall.  
"I don't know who Key is!"  
"Where are the other authors?!"  
"What other authors?!"  
Rave sighed. He pulled NoiseTank13 over to a computer, and brought up a map of FanFiction.net. Five small white dots were flashing on it.  
"What the heck is that?!" the author asked in awe.  
"A map of FanFiction.net." Rave sighed.  
"That's where I am? The internet?"  
"Yes, moron."  
"That means I'm data!"  
"Shut-up."  
"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"  
Rave slapped NoiseTank13.  
"See these dots?" Rave questioned forcefully.  
"No, I'm blind."   
"I'll ignore your sarcastic comment. Each dot is an author. As you can see, all, except you, are moving. Some faster than others, but moving. Any questions?"  
"Yeah. Where are we on this thing?"  
"Here." Rave replied as he pointed to a dot near the bottom-left-hand corner.  
"One of those dots is headed right for us."  
"Huh?! Where?!"   
"There!" NoiseTank13 yelled as he pointed to a dot that was speeding in a zig-zag pattern across the map.  
"Uh-oh. He should be arriving in...five...four...three...two...one!" Rave counted down.  
As if on cue, Harry Potter and Disk came crashing through a window. Disk was laughing his butt off and Harry was just trying to keep him on his Firebolt.  
"Mhahahaha! I'm in Tokyo-to, Ma! Look! No wings!" Disk screamed.  
"Are you drunk?!" Harry shouted clutching the collar of Disk's shirt when he finally fell off the broomstick.  
"Harry Potter and some idiot are going to save me?" NoiseTank13 grumbled.  
"Hey! I'm not an idiot! I'm Disk!"  
"The author?" NoiseTank13 asked him.  
"No, the hotdog vendor from Brooklyn."   
"Well, I'm NoiseTank13."  
"No kidding?"  
"None whatsoever."  
"Hey, Harry!" Disk shouted.  
"Little busy! And be ready to hop on!" the wizard yelled back as he made all of the rudies float by shouting "Wingardium leviosa!".   
"Good going! Now let's...!" NoiseTank13 was interupted by a Poison Jam breaking through one of the boarded up windows.  
"Oh... So I guess you don't need saving huh?" the Poison Jam asked NoiseTank13 when he landed.  
"No, who are you?" the author muttered.  
"You don't recognize me?"  
"Have we met?"  
"You created me!"  
"Shackler?! Your supposed to be an idiot!"  
"I have met my creator and he is not smarter than me. That's only when you're in control."  
"Why don't you just...fall into an open man-hole?!" the angry NoiseTank13 screamed at the top of his lungs.  
Shackler fell into an open man-hole much to the surprise of everyone in the room.  
"Hey! Come on! I can get you anywhere you want to go with the sewer system!" Shackler shouted from the sewer.  
"Hang on!" NoiseTank13 replied as he printed out a copy of the map and tore into two pieces. Handing one of them to Disk he said "Here, you find them. They're moving but they shouldn't get too far before you catch them, especially on that Firebolt."  
"Okay, be careful, and let's meet back up at Hogwarts!" Disk agreed.  
"Alright, see you later!"  
NoiseTank13, although hestitantly, hopped into the sewer. Disk and Harry flew out of the window Shackler had broken. The Noise Tanks were still floating, and nobody, except them, really cared.  
"What are we going to do now, Rave?" a nameless rudie asked his leader.  
"Shut-up."  
"Hey, gang!" Key yelled as he walked into the NoiseTank hideout, plastic bags filled with food in his hands. "I was bored so I went grocery shopping."  
"We hate you!" the rest of the gang shouted back.  
  
Tallulah had made it to the city. It was your typical city, except a little less populated. There were no cars on the road or people on the street, not to mention no vendors to fill Tallulah's roaring stomach or to quench her thirst.  
"I'm so hungry. I need a hotdog. A coke would hit the spot too." she thought hopelessly. "What's up with this place? Nobody's around. I wonder why."  
Suddenly, a building a few blocks away exploded. Tallulah instinctively began to run for her life as some type of ammunition hit a building near her.  
"Aaaahhhhh! No more guns! I can't take anymore guns!" she screamed. "Gunslingers everywhere and I don't have a bullet proof vest! What's causing all this anyway?!"  
Her question was almost immediately answered. A giant robot appeared near the rubble of the building that had exploded moments earlier.  
"Huh?! Is that a Gundam?! Sandrock?!" Tallulah whispered in awe. "Maybe all my brother's ramblings about anime aren't such a bad thing."  
"Hey! What are you doing here?!"  
Tallulah whipped around to face a boy dressed completely in black and who had his hair in a long braid.  
"I'm lost."  
"I thought women always asked for directions."  
"Do you see anybody around here for me to ask?!" Tallulah screamed as she whipped her arms around in a kind of "Hello! Are you blind?" manner.  
"Just calm down!" the boy shouted back.  
More of the ammunition rained down on a nearby building.  
"How am I supposed to stay calm?! This is the second time today that somebody's been shooting at me!"  
"Why was somebody shooting at you?"  
"I'm an authoress."  
"Really?!"  
"Don't hurt me!" Tallulah cringed.  
"Why would I do that?"  
"Becuase my fellow authors tortured you!"  
"Did you?"  
"Uh, no."  
"Then I have no reason to hurt you, um...?"  
"Tallulah."  
"I'm Duo."  
"Nice to meet you. Will you do something for me?"  
"Okay."  
"Call off the robot!"  
"Quatre! Hello! Stop! We've got a civilian down here!" Duo yelled hopelessly.  
"You're an idiot." Tallulah grumbled. "Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh! Lookout!"  
Ammunition was hailing down once again. Tallulah and Duo ran for their lives through the abandoned city in hopes that one of them would get an idea that would actually work. Suddenly, a taxi appeared in mid-air and hit the ground with a loud clunk.  
"I thought the city had been evacuated!" Duo thought aloud.  
"Obviously not! We'd better make sure that paerson is okay!" Tallulah gasped.  
Tallulah and Duo ran to the taxi.  
"Hey, who are you?" Duo asked.  
"Axel... Where am I?!"  
"No time for questions!" the Gundam pilot shouted as he grabbed Tallulah and threw her into the taxi and jumped in.  
"Hey!" Axel complained. "What do you think you're doing?!"  
"Look, buddy, there's a giant robot on the rampage!" Tallulah screamed in fear.  
"Say no more!" Axel replied as he kick the car into gear and sped into the city, avoiding the hailing ammunition, for fear of his taxi getting a dent.  
"If we can get to Deathscythe, we'll be okay!" Duo said, for once getting an idea that might actually work.  
"What?" Tallulah and Axel said in unison.  
"Just do as I say."  
Needless to say, Tallulah and Axel were terrified.  
  
Thug Angel and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) were still running for their lives through the Blair Witch Woods.  
"Jessi-chan?"  
"What now?!"  
"Is it just me, or is there absolute nothingness just ahead of us?"  
"What do you mean, "absolute nothingness"?"  
"Stop staring at me and watch where you're going!" Thug Angel yelled and stopped running.  
Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) stopped just before the stretch of white began.  
"Oh. Absolute nothingness." Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) said, gasping for breath.   
"Wait. If absolute nothingness is nothing, then we have nothing to fear!" Thug Angel shouted.  
"Yeah, except fear itself." Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) said after looking back at the forest. "Thug, I don't want to alarm you, but there's an eerie pair of eyes looking at us from the forest."  
"The Blair Witch! Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! Come on, Jessi-chan!"  
Thug Angel grabbed Jessi (a.k.a. Crash)'s arm and ran out onto the white stretch.  
"Hm, it's molecular structure supports our weight, therefore it's not nothingness since it has mass." Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) thought aloud.  
"Ok, what?"   
"Uh, Thug, check out what's ahead of us..."  
"Hm, why? It's just nothingness...aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!"  
Thug Angel and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) had fallen off of the white stretch, and were falling through what seemed to be sky.  
"I can't even see the ground! We're going to die!" Thug Angel screamed.  
"I haven't graduated!" Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) sobbed. "I haven't played "Sonic Adventure 2"!"  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" they screamed as gravity pulled them downward.  
  
  
"Hey there, minna-san! Thug Angel here! We're careening towards certain doom, and all Jessi-chan can think about is school and video games?! Stranger things will happen next time in "The Three Rs: Regroup, Rethink, And Rehabilitate!"!"  
"I'm not ready to die!" Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) sobs.   
  
***************************************************  
A/N: Um, hi again. Since all of you were so patient, I decided to add some bloopers from this chapter. ^_^ These were done in about ten or so minutes, so they probably aren't as funny as bloopers should be. Or funny period. Thanks again for waiting so long and a big thanks to Tallulah for not coming after me with that machete of hers.  
  
*NoiseTank13 versus Rave's Runny Nose*  
"Key, where have you been?!"  
"Um..."  
"What were you thinking?!"  
"I'm not..."  
"Well?!"  
"Um..."   
Despite his desperate attempts to keep a straight face, NoiseTank13 bursts into fits of hysterical laughter.  
"That's not in the script!"  
"Neither is that booger that's hanging out of your nose!"  
"What?! Make-up!"  
  
*Tallulah meets Duo the Dunderhead*  
"Why was somebody shooting at you?  
"Um... I forgot my line."  
"Just because you didn't know what you were supposed to say?!"  
Tallulah sighs and Axel runs onto the set and puts a dunce cap on Duo's head.  
"What's this for?" Duo asks.  
Tallulah and Axel both sigh.  
  
*Think, Thug Angel and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash), Think*  
"Hm, it's structure supports our mass, therefore it's not weight."  
"You're supposed to be the smart one, Jessi-chan." Thug Angel grumbled as she stopped running, releasing Jessi (a.k.a. Crash)'s arm.  
"You think I actually listen in science?!"   
"No, but I thought you'd be able to memorize a script."  
"Here. Amuse yourself." Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) grumbled as she gave Thug Angel a box of matches.  
"Burn! All of you! Fire kicks arse!" the retarded pyromaniac screamed.  
"I'm going to write a book on psychology someday, and that girl'll be the most interesting chapter." 


	6. The Three Rs: Regroup, Rethink, and Reha...

When A Gag Goes Too Far   
Chapter 5: The Three Rs: Regroup, Rethink, and Rehabilitate!   
  
A/N: Much to my displeasure I don't own anything except myself. Shackler belongs to a Noise Tank (formerly known as NoiseTank13). Oh, and I had make Thug Angel (who is now Punk Angel) seem mean to the point of cruel. She's really not as long as you don't get her mad, but I needed to make her seem that way. Sorry, Punk Angel, please don't kill me!   
  
Thug Angel and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) were still falling helplessly through the sky. Thug Angel was not completely convinced that they were going to die.   
"Jessi-chan! What are the chances we're going to live through this?!"   
"We're going to die on impact!"   
"What if we never land?!" Thug Angel yelled, searching for a ray of hope.   
"You're an idiot! We have to land sooner or later! There's no such thing as a groundless sky!"   
They hit a warm updraft of air that slowed them down considerably. They both felt some kind of radiation of heat, as if a large energy source was nearby.   
"Or an updraftless sky for that matter!" Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) said as they passed through the updraft and continued falling.   
"Uh, Jessi-chan?"   
"Yes?"   
"If we hit solid steel now, would we live?"   
"Maybe. Why?"   
As if on cue, the duo hit solid steel face first; the solid steel of a blue and white ship's deck.   
"Ow... Jessi-chan, that hurt!"   
Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) didn't say anything.   
"Jessi-chan?"   
The only sound was that of six muffled voices voices screaming "What the?!".   
"Grr... Speak to me!" Thug Angel yelled as she jumped up and began to kick Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) in her ribs repeatedly. "Breathe, darn you! Don't die on me! I need your brain!"   
Six people rushed out onto the deck clad in pirate-ish clothes. They stopped a few feet from the authoresses, staring at the scene.   
"Um, excuse me," a male in blue asked. "Why are you kicking that girl?"   
"Because I don't know freaking CPR!"   
With a cry of anger, Thug Angel kicked Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) with all the strength she could muster. Jessi (a.k.a. Crash)'s eyes popped open and she screamed a scream that would put any star of any horror movie to shame.   
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"   
Many headaches ensued.   
"Yeowza! What's with you?!" Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) gasped as she held her ribs.   
"I thought you were dead!"   
"You missed one obvious point of why I was knocked out and you weren't."   
"What's that?"   
"Your head is harder than mine."   
Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) stood up with Thug Angel's help and took in her new surroundings.   
"Well, this is a peachy little developement, wouldn't you say, Jessi-chan?." Thug Angel said as Jessi (a.k.a. Crash)'s legs nearly collapsed beneath her. "Are you okay?!"   
"A bit dizzy, but I'm fine."   
Thug Angel was a crutch for the weak-kneed authoress. Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) noticed the six bamboozled people in front of her when a girl in a white dress tried to help her get up.   
"Thug, private, now, talk, now, hurry, can't use pronouns, now!"   
  
"Shackler, where are we?"   
"Gundam Wing territory. That's were the author is."   
"Hopefully."   
NoiseTank13 and Shackler were running through the sewers trying desperately to find a man-hole.   
"This smell! How can you live with it?!" NoiseTank13 gasped.   
"What smell?" Shackler said in surprise.   
"I think your mask is on too tight."   
Shackler reached toward the back of his head, and loosened his mask.   
"Yuck! Let's get out of here!"   
At last a man-hole was in view. Shackler pushed NoiseTank13 out of his way and clambered up the ladder. About ten seconds later, Shackler leapt back into the sewer.   
"What's wrong?" NoiseTank13 grumbled.   
"Gundam Sandrock is on a rampage. Quatre must be having one of his psychotic episodes." Shackler explained.   
"Great. Now what are we going to do?"   
"We're going to go up there and run for our lives!"   
NoiseTank13 rolled his eyes.   
"Stupidity reigns supreme."   
"So does my fist."   
"I am your creator; I can also destroy you!"   
"Well, if you're so strong, you go up there and distract the Gundam!"   
"Okay, I will!"   
With that, NoiseTank13 sped up the ladder and through the open man-hole. Only after seeing the Gundam, did he realize what Shackler had manipulated him into doing.   
"Go to heck, Shackler!" he screamed into the man-hole. "Go to heck!"   
"After you!" Shackler yelled back.   
The Gundam faced the author and lifted its rifle to fire at him.   
"Oh no..."   
Bullets exploded from the rifle with the sounds of thunder accompanying them. NoiseTank13 ran for his life, darting between signs and litter, searching for sanctuary. He found none, but heard a sound in the distance; the screeching of tires.   
"What now?!"   
When he turned around he saw that Shackler had finally come out of the sewer. What really interested him was the taxi hurtling towards them.   
"A taxi when I need one. That's a first." NoiseTank13 said sarcastically as the taxi with Duo, Axel, and Tallulah skidded to a stop in front of him. "Shackler, come here!"   
Duo was now driving the taxi. Axel, who was in the front seat, had a white knuckle grip on the seat. Tallulah was cowering on the floorboards in the backseat with her arms covering her head. Quatre had, for some reason, stopped firing.   
"Any chance on us getting a ride?" Shackler asked as he jumped into the backseat.   
"Ow! Hey, get your skate out of my stomache!" Tallulah shouted.   
"Who are you?"   
"Tallulah!"   
"Wait a minute, hold up, whoa!" NoiseTank13 said slowly. "Tallulah? The author?"   
"Yes, and you are?"   
"NoiseTank13 and this is Shackler."   
At that moment, Tallulah finally lost her composure and burst into tears. Duo turned around in his seat to stare at her. Axel didn't move; he had been traumatized for life thanks to Duo's driving skills.   
"What's going on?! Everybody wants me dead just because I wrote a few stories! Haven't they ever heard of a little thing called freedom of expression?!"   
"Uh, actually, they have." NoiseTank13 replied in surprise. "Just calm down. There's bound to be a reasonable explanation for all of this junk. All I know so far is...not much."   
"Hm... Is anyone else here? Any authors?"   
"I know Disk is and he and Harry Potter went looking for a couple of authors."   
"Disk the GG?! Harry Potter?! The MacDougall Brothers! Vash! When will the insanity end?!"   
"Vash?! Trigun Vash?! Vash the Stampede?! The Human Typhoon?! We've got to get him on our side!"   
"Um, side?"   
"This is a war!"   
"War?" Tallulah mumbled before the stress finally made her faint.   
"Some people just aren't cut out for this." Duo commented smugly as he righted himself and grasped the steering wheel of the taxi. "Anyway, hop in before Quatre starts firing again. Meet Axel."   
Shackler propped Tallulah up on the far right side of the taxi and sat down next to her. NoiseTank13 sat down next to Shackler and closed the door.   
"Hi, you're an author, I presume?" NoiseTank13 said as he held his head in his hands.   
"Yeah, and this is my taxi, which by the time we stop Quatre will probably be a pile of rubble." Axel sighed sadly.   
"So, how are we going to stop blondie, Duo?" NoiseTank13 asked as Duo once again sped off.   
"We get Deathscythe and go after him."   
"Would you need help?"   
"Can you operate a Gundam?"   
"I've watched you do it for years, does that count?"   
"Hm, why not. Zero is with Deathscythe; you can take it for a spin."   
"Alright! Hey, wait, what about Heero?"   
"What about him?"   
"Wouldn't he get mad or something?"   
"What he doesn't know won't enrage him. He's not with Zero right now."   
"Then, where is he?"   
  
In a YMCA far away, two men were playing "Battleships".   
"C-8, Wufei."   
"Injustice!"   
"That's another win for me! Heero, please put in on the scoreboard."   
Heero silently put a tally mark under Quatre's name, which had fifteen of them, on a small chalkboard. Wufei hadn't won any games, and consequently he was hopping mad.   
"Do you want to play again, Wufei?" Quatre asked kindly.   
"I am weak! I shouldn't fight!"   
"I guess Duo won that bet." Heero grumbled.   
"What bet are you talking about, Weakling?" Wufei insisted.   
"I bet Duo that you'd win more games than Quatre. I've lost five-hundred dollars."   
"Oh, I'll lend you the money, Heero." Quatre said as he gave Heero five one-hundred dollar bills. "So Wufei, do want to play again?"   
"One more time, Weakling."   
  
Duo, NoiseTank13, and company were racing along the streets, avoiding the newest hail of bullets.   
"Whoohoo! I'm going to control a Gundam!" NoiseTank13 shouted with his arms in the air.   
"Provided we live that long." Duo pointed out glumly.   
"Why wouldn't we live that long?"   
"Check out Quatre."   
NoiseTank13 turned in his seat and saw Quatre charging up a Buster Rifle.   
"Go, go, go! Faster! Do you want to be obliterated?!"   
  
Disk and Harry Potter were flying through the Blair Witch Woods, following Thug Angel's and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash)'s footprints.   
"Man, one of those two has huge feet." Disk commented.   
"No kidding. Those shoes must size eleven, at least!" Harry agreed.   
"I think they were twelves, but who's counting?" Aisha's voice called from an open manhole.   
"Harry, can this thing go any faster?"   
"Of course."   
"What are you waiting for?! Put the pedal to the metal already!"   
The Firebolt zoomed forward and away from Aisha, who was climbing out of the hole of sewage.   
"Gah, come back here! You authors are going to pay!"   
Out of nowhere, a ball of light shot down from the sky and crashed right into Aisha, who had finally gotten out of the sewer, into a large oak tree.   
"Whoa, Harry, stop!"   
"Will you make up your mind, Disk?"   
"What do you see?"   
"An angry cat that took too many steroids and hormone injections."   
"Besides that!"   
"A vampire... What movie is this again?"   
"Crouching Ctarl Ctarl, Hidden Author."   
"Congratulatons, Disk."   
"For what?"   
"Tilting the "corny" meter."   
The vampire stood up, and took a slow look around.   
"Oh, boy, N1K, now what? I'm lost... And hungry, where's a blood bank when I really need one?" N1K said to himself.   
"There'll be plenty of blood on the ground when I'm through with you!" Aisha screamed as she flexed her muscles. "Too bad you won't be around to pig out!"   
"I bet your blood is pretty tasty! I hope you won't mind being a vampire!"   
With that Aisha lunged at N1K, roaring and preparing to pummel him into oblivion. N1K jumped and Aisha sailed under him as he kicked the middle of her back. She hit the ground and N1K took a few small leaps backwards. Aisha stood up and began to transform. Her muscles grew, her fangs lengthened, and she began to growl and laugh.   
"You'll regret that!"   
  
  
"Hey, Disk here! N1K crashed into Aisha, and now there's going to be a battle royal! Harry and I can only watch in wonder, next time in "Of Fights, Heights, and the Gundam's Might!"! Hey, Harry, pass the popcorn!"   
"Yuck! It needs salt!"   
  
*******************************************   
A/N: Yes, the last segment was unusually short, but I wanted to post this ASAP since its been practically an eternity since I last updated WaGGTF. Blooper time! Once again these were created on the spot and in a small amount of time, so if you're expecting to roll on the floor laughing your butt off, go read something else.   
  
*Titanic Rip-off*   
Thug Angel and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) were standing near the front edge of the steel airship's deck where they were supposed to be talking about their present situation. Instead, they had climbed onto the railing, stretched out their arms a la "Titanic", and were screaming at the top of their lungs.   
"We're the queens of fan fiction that is for some reason considered humorous!"   
  
*Get It Right, Tallulah*   
Tallulah and NoiseTank13 were having a small disagreement after Shackler had impaled her.   
"Um, side?" Tallulah asked fearfully.   
"This is a war!" NoiseTank13 shouted in frustration.   
"War?"   
Tallulah didn't faint, despite her efforts to act shocked and terrified.   
"Tallulah, can it be that hard to faint on cue?" NoiseTank13 sighed.   
"Yes!"   
"No way!"   
Thug Angel walked onto the set dragging the unconscious Jessi (a.k.a. Crash) behind her.   
"No it can't! Look at how well Jessi-chan does it!" she insisted.   
"She's also extremely pale and the top of her head is bleeding... Eek!"   
Tallulah fainted and Jessi (a.k.a. Crash)'s eyes quickly opened.   
"She is so gulible!" the "injured" authoress laughed as she stood up, walked over to the snack table, grabbed a fry, wiped it in the blood on her head, and ate it. "Behold the power of ketchup!"   
  
*Watch Out for That Author*   
Disk and Harry were flying away from Aisha as quickly as possible. The ball of light provided by special effects came in far too early.   
"Harry, watch out!"   
Harry got out of the ball's way, but hit a tree, causing Disk and himself to be hurled to the ground.   
"Ow. Next time, I drive." Disk murmured.   
"Oh, shut-up." Harry grumbled back.


	7. Of Fights, Heights, and the Gundam's Mig...

When A Gag Goes Too Far  
Chapter 6: Of Fights, Heights, and the Gundam's Might!  
  
A/N: O_O Man, it's been forever since I updated this! Does anybody even remember that I was writing this? Oh, and no offense is meant to terrorists, politicians, the IRS, and "various other bad people". Shackler belongs to NoiseTank13. Speed is mine. Anything else ain't mine.   
  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"Yeah, Disk?"  
  
"Will you stop hogging the popcorn?!"  
  
"Um...you're hallucinating, Disk."  
  
"No, I'm not! There's a huge bowl of popcorn in your lap and you're refusing to give me some of it!"  
  
"Uh...First of all, those are leaves that fell on me when Aisha jumped into the tree we're sitting under, and second of all, have all you want." Harry said as he gathered up some leaves and handed them to Disk.  
  
Needless to say, Disk and Harry Potter were still in the Blair Witch Woods, sitting under a tree, watching N1K and Aisha ClanClan try to rip each other to shreds. Disk, who had an estranged look in his eyes, had just begun to chomp on the leaves, when N1K tossed Aisha into his and Harry's laps.  
  
"Hi, Aisha." Disk muttered when the "popcorn" was knocked out of his hands. "Man, I'm hungry!"   
  
"He's strong for a little guy." Harry commented.  
  
"I've noticed!" Aisha jumped up and began to run off, deeper into the forest. "Grr... I'll be back for you, author! And I'll bring reinforcements!"  
  
"Well," Disk said in mock happiness after Aisha had left. "Hi, N1K, I'm Disk and this is the one and only Harry Potter."  
  
"No autographs please." Harry sighed.  
  
"Disk?...Harry Potter?... What's going on?!" N1K shouted in confusion.  
  
"Okay, to make a long story incredibly short..." Disk began slowly, but then sped up. "Tab is very ticked off and he recruited a bunch of other ticked off official characters and now they're trying to destroy FF.net and that, in some way, caused our sudden transport from our own world to FF.net."  
  
"Simple as that." Harry added.  
  
"... So, we're in...." N1K blinked several times as if he were seeing spots before his eyes.  
  
"The internet." Disk finished. "How, we don't know. Why, we're almost certain of that."  
  
"So...where is everybody?"  
  
"Good question!" Harry chuckled. "We don't have a good answer, but it's a good question!"  
  
  
"Here we are!" Duo shouted as he fishtailed the taxi to a stop in front of a very large building.  
  
NoiseTank13, Tallulah, who was still out cold, Shackler, and Axel sighed in relief. The cab was in surprisingly good shape after being driven by Duo at top speed for about four miles, avoiding a rampaging Gundam's attacks, and avoiding hitting the small, green eyed black cat that inexplicably ran into the middle of the cab's path approximately every forty-two seconds. Of course, by "surprisingly good shape", it is meant that the back left fender, the bumper, the muffler, and the rear-view mirror were all missing.  
  
"Okay!" Duo ordered as they all jumped out of the cab, except for Tallulah. "NoiseTank13, stay with me. Axel...you can grieve for a while I guess. Smacker!"  
  
"It's Shackler!"  
  
"Whatever! You grab Tallulah and follow me!"  
  
Duo, NoiseTank13, and Shackler, who was carrying Tallulah over his shoulder, ran into the building, leaving Axel to cry over the remains of his taxi.  
  
"Is he going to be alright?" NoiseTank13 sweatdropped.  
  
"Probably not." Shackler replied gruffly.  
  
"Alright, stay close behind me!" Duo ordered. "These halls are like a maze!"  
  
Aftera few minutes of running in an indecipherable pattern, the group barged through a pair of double doors into a huge hangar. The Gundams Deathscythe Hell and Wing Zero loomed before them, shackled to the ground.  
  
"Pretty, shiny metal!" Shackler said in awe, with his eyes sparkling.  
  
"Is that within his nature?" Duo asked NoiseTank13 with a dumbfounded expression splattered on his face.  
  
"Actually, idiocy is well within the confines of his character."  
  
"Okay... I'm going to take care of those shackles. Wait here." Duo explained before running into another room.  
  
NoiseTank13 stood where he was for a moment, considering whether or not he should cause any trouble. He glanced over at Shackler, who had left the still unconscious Tallulah on the floor and had taken to hugging Deathscythe Hell's foot, proclaiming his everlasting love for the shiny mecha. NoiseTank13 sweatdropped, and walked towards Wing Zero.  
  
"The dreaded Wing Zero. And within it, the pilot controlling Zero System. Heero can barely keep it under control, so how will I fight with it?" he muttered.  
  
The author's eyes widened as he remembered that he had a secret weapon. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a syringe.  
  
"Oh, yeah! Zero System can't make me go nuts if I'm high. Heh heh heh..."  
  
Ten minutes later, Deathscythe Hell and Wing Zero were approaching the Gundam Sandrock. To be more precise, Wing Zero was doing pirouettes, destroying random buildings, and Deathscythe Hell was failing miserably at trying to keep it from destroying the said random buildings.  
  
"13, stop! You'll destroy the city!" Duo screamed.  
  
"And with it, I will destroy the pastries! Evil pastries, feel my wrath!" NoiseTank13 stomped on a small bakery. "Die!"  
  
A nearby building exploded, causing a veil of dust to cloud the area. When it cleared, Gundam Sandrock was standing in front of the Wing Zero.  
  
"Giant pastry, feel my wrath!" NoiseTank13 screamed, before launching a storm of bullets.  
  
The Gundam did not put up any attempt at getting away from the attack or any defense. Duo manuvered Deathcythe Hell over to Sandrock, and gently poked it.  
  
"I think you gave him a heart attack, 13." Duo muttered.  
  
The hatch on Sandrock's chest opened and a tall red headed man quickly climbed down one of the legs, and ran as if his life depened on it.  
  
"Gene Starwind?!" NoiseTank13 shouted. "But what was he doing in Sandr-!"  
  
At that moment, Gundam Sandrock's "eyes" went dark. It was about to self destruct.  
  
  
"Eh? How hard did you hit your head, Jessi-chan?" Thug Angel asked as Jessi a.k.a. Crash pulled Thug Angel to the front edge of the deck with great difficultly.  
  
"Thug, we're in "Skies of Arcadia"!"  
  
"Hm? What's that?"  
  
"A Dreamcast RPG! It's, like, one of the best games ever! And we're in it! Yay!"  
  
"So, who are those people?" Thug Angel said as she arched her eyebrows at Jessi a.k.a. Crash's sudden show of fangirl tendencies.  
  
"They're all Air Pirates. See the boy in blue? He's Vyse."  
  
"Ah, named after a tool."  
  
"See the guy with the purple hat thing? He's Enrique, a prince!"  
  
"He's blonde! The blonde's going to run a country?!" Thug Angel shouted.  
  
"I hope he didn't hear that." Jessi a.k.a. Crash prayed. "Anyway, the redhead is Aika."  
  
"Does she come up with crazy schemes like Lucy?"  
  
"No, that's Vyse's job. The blonde in white is Fina."  
  
"Another blonde?! Isn't one enough?!"  
  
"Fina's ignorant, not dumb."  
  
"What's the difference?"  
  
"Ignorant is not knowing something. Dumb is permanent, like you."  
  
"Oh... Hey!" Thug Angel thumped Jessi a.k.a. Crash's nose. "What's the little silver ball thing with eyes going in circles around Fina's head?"  
  
"That's Cupil. Anyway, the man in the red trenchcoat thing is Gilder."  
  
"He's hot!"  
  
"He's a player." Jessi a.k.a. Crash mildly warned.  
  
"He is so hot!" the indifferent Thug Angel insisted, her eyes practically little hearts.  
  
"But not as hot as Yo-Yo, eh?" Jessi a.k.a. Crash giggled.  
  
"Nobody is as hot as Yo-Yo!" Thug Angel growled.  
  
" Love and peace! The last one in the pink and red dress is Clara, she stalks Gilder."  
  
"Grr, I own all the hot video game men!" Thug Angel screamed, gaining the undivided attention of the blondes, hot man, little boy blue reject, redhead, and stalker.  
  
"Keep your voice down! Listen, we don't have much to worry about. I know every aspect of this game forwards and backwards!" Jessi a.k.a. Crash said proudly.  
  
"Great, now I have to listen to your injured arse jabber on for ages about something I don't give a darn about."  
  
"You can be very mean sometimes, you know that, right?"  
  
"Yes, and I'm pretty proud of it." Thug Angel shouted as she saluted.  
  
"Okay, I guess we're done here. Shall we return?" Jessi a.k.a. Crash said as she rolled her eyes and sighed.  
  
"Yeah. Hey, are you sure you're alright?"  
  
"Yeah...whoa, I'm feeling woozy again..." Jessi a.k.a. Crash replied while holding her head. "Thug, could you give me hand? I'm not feeling very well."  
  
"Sure." Thug Angel replied as she slung Jessi a.k.a. Crash's arm over her shlouder, as if she had hurt her leg and helped her hobble back over to the small group of Air Pirates.  
  
"Hey, is she alright?" Vyse asked as he stepped forward.  
  
"Maybe, heck I don't know." Thug Angel began to shout. "I'm not a freakin' doctor!"  
  
"Thank God." Jessi a.k.a. Crash sighed.   
  
"You mean "thank you very much, Thug Angel" don't you?!" Thug Angel glared at the author that was leaning on her for support.  
  
"Yeah...yeah...thanks, Thug." Jessi a.k.a. Crash stuttered in fear.  
  
"That's what I thought."  
  
  
Suddenly the world of FanFiction.net was enveloped in blinding white light. From the Blair Witch Woods to the battling Gundams to the skies of Arcadia, the very fabric of cyberspace was being torn apart and reshaped. It was as if a truly awesome, God-sent "earthquake" had struck, sending masses of people, animals, aliens, and many other creatures to their knees in utter shock and dismay.  
  
  
"What the heck?!" the authors all yelled from their various positions, just before disappearing into thin air.  
  
  
Tallulah, N1K, NoiseTank13, Axel, Disk, Thug Angel, and Jessi a.k.a. Crash materialized in what appeared to be the Gryffindor common room in Hogwarts. The room, instead of it's usual drab decor, now had various types of computers, weapons, and maps pretty much everywhere. The authors slowly stood up, facing eachother, in complete and utter confusion, near the fireplace. N1K immediately ran to Tallulah.  
  
"What the?!" NoiseTank13 screamed. "I was piloting a Gundam! God, why do you screw me over like this?!"  
  
"What happened to you, Tal?" N1K asked curiously. "Why'd you disappear?"  
  
"Forget that, what happened to you?!"  
  
"There's a bunch of freaky arse crud happenin' up in here!" Thug Angel shouted as she helped Jessi a.k.a. Crash off her rump. "What now, Jessi-chan?!"  
  
"I don't know, Thug."  
  
"Well, we got all of you here." a female voice sighed from a console behind them.  
  
"They don't seem to be hurt either." a male voice added.  
  
"And some of them are ladies!" another male voice cried.  
  
"Huh?! Vash, is that you?!" Tallulah gasped as she, and the rest of the authors whirled around.  
  
Vash was leaning against the stone wall near a computer. A tall man in a black suit that was smoking a cigarette was standing next to him, one hand on an enormous cross that was against the wall. Speed was sitting at a computer near them, shifting in her seat to get a good look at the authors. The infamous klutz Neville Longbottom was sitting, rather dazed, on the floor near the computer that the rudie was sitting at, holding his wand , which was smoking a bit, in the air.  
  
"Hey, it's you again..." Vash trailed off.  
  
"Tallulah. Are you okay?"  
  
"Fine, those two were a piece of cake to beat!"  
  
"I suppose that's why you ran to me for help." the man in the black suit huffed. "You should've let me kill them."  
  
"Remember, Wolfwood: the world is made of..."  
  
"Love and peace!" Vash, Disk, and Jessi a.k.a. Crash shouted together.  
  
Vash's eyes began to water a bit.  
  
"I've done it!" he cried. "I've taught the precious value of peace to the masses!"  
  
Almost instantly, Vash, Disk, and Jessi a.k.a. Crash were sitting at a table discussing how wonderful the world would be if terrorists, politicians, the IRS, and various other bad people didn't exist.  
  
"Well, we've lost Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum, and Tweedle Dork." Wolfwood sighed.  
  
"How did that happen?" NoiseTank13 asked slowly as he surveyed the room.  
  
"Well...." the rudie began. "They share a common interest, you see..."  
  
"I meant how did we get here from...wherever we all were?"  
  
"Oh! Well, that's fairly simple. Vash, Wolfwood, and I were summoned here by Dumbledore, whom you do not argue with, to help with that. We had all this junk installed, and were just getting down to business when Neville came running in saying that he wanted to help Harry, tripped over his own two feet, landed on this console, jabbed it with his wand by accident, and poof! Here ya'll were!"  
  
"I had no idea that "Iiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" was a magic word." Wolfwood chuckled as Neville blushed.  
  
"Okay..."  
  
"So, that's Neville down there, that's Wolfie right there, that's Vash over there..." Punk Angel recalled slowly from her overloaded mind.  
"Who are you?"  
  
"My name's Speed."  
  
"Her Speed?" Thug Angel pointed at Jessi a.k.a. Crash, who was chattering away happily about Koala bears.  
  
"Yeah.... I'm not very proud of it...but she's my creator."  
  
"Big group hug!" Vash, Disk, and Jessi a.k.a. Crash shouted.  
  
  
A black object was hovering outside a window, "looking" into the common room. Vash, Disk, and Jessi a.k.a. Crash, in a bout of random insanity, had forced everyone in the room to take part in a group hug. The object "looked" on for a moment, before flying out of sight.  
  
  
"Hey y'all, it's Jessi here! Now we're all together and our enemy is scattered. Maybe now, we can make a move on them and get the upper hand! Catch the strategising and mechas next time in 'Things that go 'BOOM' in the Middle of the Day'! You might want to invest in a bomb shelter!"  
  
*************************************************************  
A/N: More not so funny blooper fun!  
  
  
*Aisha and N1K Have no Coordination*  
  
Aisha and N1K were fighting in the Blair Witch Woods while Harry and Disk watched from beneath a tree.Quite abruptly, Aisha tripped on a stick and fell on N1K, making them both crash into the laps of their audience.  
  
"Popcorn!" the starved Disk cried as he bit into Aisha's hair.   
  
Aisha smacked him, and walked off the set, grumbing something about the honor honor of the Ctarl Ctarl. N1K and Harry sweatdropped.  
  
  
*When Mechas Attack!*  
  
Wing Zero was making origami with billboards. Deathscythe Hell was terrifying old ladies. Sandrock was painting the city purple.  
  
"Injustice!" echoed throughout the city. "Yuy! Maxwell! Winner! You are making fools of yourselves!"  
  
The Gundams paused, glanced around, shrugged, and continued their random acts of insanity. From their respective positions on the ground, NoiseTank13 and Gene Starwind sweatdropped.  
  
  
*There Isn't any Land Down There*  
  
"Yeah...whoa, I'm feeling woozy again..." Jessi a.k.a. Crash held her head as she spoke. "No really, I don't feel well...."  
  
She fainted, and fell off the airship before Thug Angel could catch her.  
  
"Jessi-chan, can I have your stereo?!" Thug Angel screamed as she saw Jessi a.k.a. Crash land on a small island and long ways below.  
  
"Stay away from my tunes!" she bellowed back. "And get me a medic!"  
  
  
*The Humanoid Typhoon has Strange Pasttimes*  
  
In the Gryffindor common room, Vash the Stampede was wearing a tutu, doing pirouettes around the room. Speed, Neville, and Wolfwood sweatdropped as he danced his way up the stairs to the girl's dormitory. A slapping sound resonated throughout the room. 


	8. Things That Go BUMP In The Middle Of The...

When A Gag Goes Too Far  
Chapter 7: Things That Go "BUMP" In The Middle Of The Day!  
  
A/N: *yawn* It's late on a Friday night. I should already be asleep. ...I really shouldn't ramble on and on... Okay, straight to the point this time: I only own myself and Speed. The authors belong to their respective selves (O_o That doesn't sound right for some reason...) and the official character belong to their respective owners, which I am too tired to name off.  
  
  
The authors and Dumbledore were seated around a large, round, beautifully crafted oak table. In front of each of them were a note pad, a pencil, a peanutbutter sandwhich, and a glass of chocolate milk. It was a so called "meeting (or lunch, in this case) of the minds", except that the state of these minds ranged from slightly deranged to full blown insane.  
  
"Well," Disk said as he turned his sandwhich over a few times, inspecting it for any unusual ingredients. "Now what?"  
  
"The enemy is scattered... We should take advantage of that and attack their base of operations!" NoiseTank13 replied between bites.  
  
"There's a little problem with that," Tallulah interjected. "We don't know where their base is."  
  
"Way to be a downer, Tal," NoiseTank13 grumbled.  
  
"Way to compliment a lady, 13."  
  
"Aw, don't mind her!" Nik chirped, placing his half full glass of milk onto the table. "The notion of Duo Maxwell having the hots for her has put her in a bad mood."  
  
Silence ensued, in which Tallulah's face turned several lovely shades of red.  
  
"Well, why else was he staring at her in the cab?" Nik shrugged.  
  
"What an elegant way of putting it..." Jessi a.k.a. Crash sighed between nibbles. "Look, we need to find a way to locate their base."  
  
"Any suggestions?" Disk asked hopefully.  
  
"No."  
  
"Well, let's look at this logically," Thug Angel said while swirling her glass a bit. "Tab started all this, didn't he? Then wouldn't it make sense for their base to be in Tokyo-to?"  
  
"....are my ears decieving me, or did Thug just say something...intelligent?" Jessi a.k.a. Crash blinked in mock amazement, earning a whack from Thug Angel, who was sitting next to her.  
  
"No, hold on a moment," Dumbledore interjected, "All sarcasm aside, that is an intelligent deduction."  
  
The group of authors blinked in perfect unison.  
  
"Heck must have frozen over," Nik laughed.  
  
Thug Angel shifted her angered glare from Jessi a.k.a. Crash to Nik, effectively shutting him up.  
  
"You've been very quiet, Axel," NoiseTank13 observed. "Is something up?"  
  
Axel didn't reply. He sat there, slowly eating his food, straing at the table with a far away look on his face.  
  
"Ah, still mourning the loss of you cab? Sorry to have bothered you."  
  
Axel's cab, for some reason that Neville essentially called a "fluke", was not transported to Hogwarts with him. He was in a state of near emotional shock.  
  
"Um...yeah, question," Tallulah addressed the group, "Does anyone know anything about finding and infiltrating a base?"  
  
Nobody said a word. They just glanced at eachother, waiting for someone to say something that would save the only plan they had.  
  
"Tal, I said that it was in Tokyo-to. There's no reason to worry about finding-"  
  
"That's no garuntee!" Tallulah interrupted. "They could be smarter than we're giving them credit for, you know!"  
  
The two girls began to bicker, with the others watching in mild amusement. Afterall, How often did the grammar queen face off with the queen of goths?  
  
"Perhaps we should call in a group of professionals for assistance," Dumbledore sighed as he stood up and made his way to the potrait hole of the common room.   
  
"Wait just a minute!" Disk practically shouted, making Dumbledore nearly nearly trip over his robes. "I have a plan!"  
  
  
Tab was pacing, as best he could with skates on, about the garage, with Gum staring at him, impatiently tapping her foot.  
  
"Any ideas yet?" Gum said, finally relieving the tension that was building.  
  
"No," Tab replied as he stopped pacing and whirled around to face her. "But here's a thought, I put everyone into teams right?"  
  
"Yeah...and?"  
  
"Absolutely everyone?"  
  
"...what are you getting at?"  
  
"I don't think I assigned anything to Vegeta."  
  
"Darn straight, you didn't assign me anything!" Vegeta shouted as he stomped into the room from the kitchen, ravenously devouring a chocolate bar. "And do you know why? Because I am the price of Saiyans! You mere humans cannot tell me what to do!"  
  
"Vegeta, please-" Tab began before the Saiyan prince interrupted him.  
  
"No, I give the orders and you listen! From this moment forward, we are not fighting against the authors! We are fighting the giant bunny rabbits that have invaded our realm from the planet Fuzziness!"  
  
Tab and Gum sweatdropped as Vegeta rambled on.  
  
"How many of those chocolate bars do you think he's had?" Tab asked Gum.  
  
"...well, considering that we nearly bought out an entire candy store at the last 'Post Halloween' sale...about twenty-five punds."  
  
"That's all we had, isn't it?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Oh boy, he's going to be hyper for a while."  
  
  
"I hope you're kidding," Jessi a.k.a. Crash gasped. "Please tell me you're kidding!"  
  
"No, I'm not kidding," Tallulah said with a sigh.  
  
Tallulah, Thug Angel, and Jessi a.k.a. Crash were in the Gryffindor common room. They were standing in front of a computer console, looking at a computer generated map of Tokyo-to. Wolfwood and Speed we hovering in the background, arguing over the accuracy of an old fashioned paper map that Speed had made. Tallulah and Thug Angel had stopped bickering, with Tallulah's reasoning winning over Thug Angel's.  
  
"But that's suicide!"  
  
"Why are you so paranoid? Gathering up support from the other archives is our best chance at overpowering Tab. Do it for the good of all authors everywhere!"  
  
"No, I'd like to live to see my next birthday, thank you very much!"  
  
"Jessi, all you have to do is see if any of the Gundam pilots will help us out. It's not like we're asking you to stick a knife in a toaster," Thug Angel sighed, still a bit mad that Tallulah had ultimately won their argument.  
  
"Please, let me do something else!"  
  
"Well, you could go with Disk, 13, and Axel..." Tallulah suggested.  
  
"What are they doing?"  
  
Suddenly, Disk, Axel, and NoiseTank13, who was practically dragging Axel, raced down the stairs from the boys dormitory. They all bore a striking resemblence to James Bond, as they were wearing tuxedoes and rather smug grins.  
  
"Well, we're off to infiltrate the enemy base, or as we like to call it, the 'Belly of the Beast'!" Disk shouted happily as he, NoiseTank13, and Axel ran, or, in Axel's case, were dragged by his comrades, through the potrait hole. "We're off to Tokyo-to! Bye!"  
  
"And Dumbledore's giving a car! We won't have to walk!"  
  
"And we can run down Onishima!"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
The dynamic duo raced out of the common room like children would race to a candy store after school.  
  
"...I'll take the pilots..."  
  
"I thought you would," Tallulah giggled at Jessi a.k.a. Crash's expression of disbelief at Disk and NoiseTank13's enthusiasm.  
  
Jessi a.k.a. Crash trudged up into the girl's dormitory to prepare for her "mission".  
  
"Alright, Thug," Tallulah said with a sigh. "Let's get to work."  
  
"On what?"  
  
"Back-up plans, in case the 'Belly of the Beast' isn't in Tokyo-to or if Jessi can't get the pilots on our side," Tallulah explained as she walked over to Wolfwood and Speed, pushed them away, and began to examine the map.  
  
"This will involve thinking, won't it?" Thug Angel groaned as she joined her, pushing the feuding duo away from the map.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"My head hurts already."  
  
  
"Gene, you idiot!" Jim Hawking shouted at his partner. "You destroyed half of that city! Now we'll never get the support of Gundam Wing!"  
  
"Who needs them anyway?" Gene Starwind said nonchalantly. "The Outlaw Star can take out all of those robots!"  
  
"You moron!"  
  
Gene, Jim, and Melphina were sitting on the white espanse between Cowboy Bebop and Card Captor Sakura, contemplating Gene's recent blunder.  
  
"You were supposed to convince them to come over to our side instead of being neutral! Now they're probably going to join up with the authors! Authors with giant mechs! Is that getting through your head?!"  
  
"Look, Jim, everything'll work out."  
  
"Gene, if we don't do something, we'll lose any hope of freedom! I don't want to be ordered around or tortured anymore!"  
  
"None of us do. That's why we're fighting this war!"  
  
Melphina remained silent as they argued further. Her face took on a thoughtful expression as she turned away from them.  
  
"I don't want to fight this war," she whispered to herself as tears began to fall down her cheeks. "Why can't we settle this peacefully?"  
  
  
Disk and NoiseTank13 were cruising along in a gleaming black Volkswagon beetle, darting between archives on the white path before them. Disk was driving and NoiseTank13 was doing his best to keep them from driving into aarchives that they didn't want to visit. Axel, who was along because of his vast knowledge of mechanics, was sitting in the backseat in complete silence.  
  
"So...which way is Jet Grind Radio?" Disk asked as he swerved the car around the "To Kill a Mocking Bird" archive.  
  
"Hey, man, I'm just the lookout and... Since when was I the navigator?" NoiseTank13 blinked several times, before shouting, "You mean we're lost!?"  
  
"Yep. That's about the size of it," Disk sighed.  
  
"Great. Just freakin' great..."   
  
  
  
"Hey, Tallulah here! Something's not right and I simply can't put my finger on it. We've run into so little resistance so far, well, relatively little when compared to how much trouble we could be having. Next time, it's "The Jinx of the Century"! Excuse me while I go search for a four-leaf clover."  
  
**********  
A/N: Why do I put in two author's notes? ... It's becuase... I have to make up for not making a random joke in the first one!...and I still can't think of one. Oh yes, for some reason, seeing my iguana yamn reminded me (yes, I'm strange), Pyro, sorry, I couldn't add you in this chapter. It would've caused some continuity problems later. Next chapter, however, is a different story. Not really a different story, it'll still be WAGGTF, but I can add you because I needed a-...no, I'm not saying anymore. I've said far too much as it is. I don't want to spoil the next chapter. ^_~ Blooper Time!  
  
*The Cockroach Conspiracy*  
  
Disk, instead of inspecting his peanutbutter sandwhich as we was supposed to, bite into it frantically, as if he were starving. A loud 'crunch' was heard. His eyes grew wide as he slowly tore off a chunck of sandwhich and held what remained of it at eye level.  
  
"Oh, sweeth merthiful crath!" he shouted through a mouthful of sandwhich.  
  
He dropped the sandwhich onto the table and ran out of the room as he covered his mouth with his hands, trying desperately to keep from hurling until he reached a toilet. The other authors and Dumbledore looked at the sandwhich, finally realizing what was wrong.  
  
There were cockroaches in the peanutbutter.  
  
  
*Run, Trip, Roll*  
  
NoiseTank13 ran down the stairs to the boy's dormitory at breakneck speed, passing up Disk. He tripped and began to tumble down the steps.  
  
In the common room at the base of the stairs, Tallulah, Tug Angel, Jessi a.k.a. Crash, Wolfwood, and Speed were extremely surprised as NoiseTank13 rolled past them at an alarming speed, hit the wall, and burst through it.  
  
"Perhaps we should talk to the authoress about all this cheap scenery," Speed suggested, a sweatdrop appearing on her and her companions head's. "I know she's on a tight budget, but this is just ridiculous."  
  
  
*Why NoiseTank13 Isn't Allowed to Drive the Car*  
  
NoiseTank13 was behind the wheel of the Beetle instead of Disk, who was clutching his seat for dear life. Axel was in the backseat, but instead of being silent, he was screaming.  
  
"Whoohoo!" NoseTank13 screamed as he drove the speeding car into "To Kill a Mockingbird" instead of driving around it. "Mayhem! Chaos! Bow before me, insolent wretches!"  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!" Axel screamed at the top of his lungs.  
  
"That's it! You're never driving ag-" Disk's shout was cut off when the car rammed into a tree.  
  
The insane driver laughed maniacally as he climbed out of the wreckage. Disk simply sighed and calmly walked away to find a bottle of asprin for his growing headache. 


End file.
